Fireworks Of My Heart hangover

It isn’t the first Chinese drama I’ve seen, but definitely the longest to linger in my head. It has been almost two months since I finished all 40 episodes of Fireworks Of My Heart in 5 freaking days, yet I still catch myself playing the damn thing while I work, laughing and getting smitten by my favorite scenes. I’d like to think that it is because it’s a challenge to get loose from the claws of Yang Yang’s charms. But maybe, just maybe, this drama just loved me back and that is why I can’t get over it.

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Song Yan’s (Yang Yang) uniform won me over. Men in uniforms exude authority, responsibility, and protection and these things are all true about him. He is the fire station chief, responsible for bringing out only the best in the firefighters through intense and somewhat ruthless training, placing the safety not only of the entire city but also of his team members in his hands. While all of us would agree that all of these make him one hell of a dream boy, he is still not our typical Prince Charming. He is cold, stubborn, and proud. But of course, shattered dreams and a broken heart can do that to anyone.

Xu Qin (Wang Churan) is Song Yan’s ex-girlfriend, the first woman who showed him what true love means. She’s a surgeon, coming from the wealthy and influential Meng family composed of a mom(ster) whose hobby is to look down on others and ruin people’s lives just because she can, an emotionally uninvolved dad, and an older brother whose overprotectiveness appears to be too excessive it’s almost creepy. Dr. Xu became a doctor not because she wanted to save lives, but because the job was secure. She wanted to get away from the shackles of the suffocating dynamics of her family and finally be free with Song Yan and live happily together for the rest of their lives.

It sounded like a plan until it wasn’t, because dreams mean work. To be with the one you love means sacrificing the things that gave you comfort and security. To be with the only one you care about means being ready to stand up for them and bear the consequences. To be together means accepting the fact that it may or may not even work again this time yet you’re ready to take the risk. To reach that one shot at happiness with the one you love means trusting again. It also means forgiveness and letting go of resentment.

At least for Song Yan and Xu Qin, that was what love looked like. And neither of them was ever ready to do all those things. They were all hands on deck upon saving the lives of other people and they couldn’t even save themselves. In the end, the tragedy of life and death made them realize that if they don’t give it a chance now, there might be no more time for them in the future.

Family is important, and different kinds of love can come from a family. There’s a family who’d do extreme evil measures because they believe it is the only way to let you know what’s best for you. This kind of people look highly at themselves until they are put in a situation where the only salvation lies in the hands of their created enemy. There’s a family that would take the initiative to make things right even if it is way too late for the fixes to be done. They would do unexpected things just to show you their deep remorse (and so when they do, kindly reconsider your stubbornness and pride).

And there’s also a family that would buy the entire manufacturing company of your favorite cereal so it fills the grocery shelves again. A family that you could always count on even if they too, are afraid, and they too, are lost. The family that will say only true things to you and about you, and takes offense in the bad things you went through not because they are sorry for you but because they sincerely believe you don’t deserve any of that.

Friends, of course, are invaluable people too. They keep you in check, scold you, and comfort you when no one else does. Friends are there as a strong support system at times when nothing else around you feels right. Your friends are the ones who know when and how to stop the situations that make you jealous. They are the ones who’d tell you the blow-by-blow story of how the woman you’ve been waiting for ten years declared her undying devotion towards you when everyone thought you were dying. Heck, they’d even help you move the new bed you purchased when you’re too wounded to even lift a finger, just because you wanted your girlfriend to feel comfortable while she stays at your home.

When you narrowly escape death, you become so selfish that you would ask for sacrifice instead of compromise. The “whys” start to linger in your head and you’d be all worked up looking for answers. But not all truths can be revealed that easily. There was a reason why Dumbledore said that the truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution. And when you learn the truth, you’ll know that it was kept from you for good reasons.

But death is inevitable. And when it happens it makes you question your life decisions through and through. You ask yourself why you said the things you said. You think of all the things you did that might have hurt the person who died. You think of all the promises you might need to break. You break down and cry, because you believe it wasn’t the ending any of you deserved.

I could go on and on about my experience in this drama along with the interesting characters I’ve met along the way. I saw in the comments section that this is a book adaptation and that the plot is actually a bit more complicated than what I just watched (if there is an English version I’d devour it I swear!). I just really hope these people in the comments section weren’t skipping parts so they’d stop whining about the ending for Dr. Xu’s mom(ster).

Do I still need to say I recommend it? There are 40 episodes in this drama and you could watch it one episode per day like you were praying for 40 days, or you could sacrifice sleep and finish everything in 5 days like I did. Do I even have to say I discovered that the translations vary between different streaming sites? Ghad, watch it already!